Investigation Theater- Starring Richard Burr

Years ago I took a job as a security guard at a factory, and it counts as my only acting job to date. You see, we guards were instructed to check worker’s passes, make sure doors were locked and keep a sharp eye out for safety violations. However, whenever we did that, the workers would lodge a grievous to management. And as we were only expendable contract employees, management consistently sided with its own workers, and the guards got reprimanded every time.

So we turned a security guard job into an exercise in “security theater.” With polished shoes, we walked the factory halls so all could see our shiny badges. But we did nothing, nothing at all. For eight hours at a crack, we pretended to be performing a function when in fact we were staying out of trouble by hiding in plain sight. And it worked perfectly. No more reprimands and everybody kept their jobs.

And now as I watch our elected officials in Washington, I see the same show performed. Our Senator Burr is head of the senate intelligence committee, and he is a Republican. Faced with the vital mission of investigating the Russian involvement in the election of a Republican president, he realizes this could get him in trouble.

So what does our senator do? He puts on a play! Although the investigation into the demise of American democracy has been going for three months, no evidence has been uncovered by the committee. This is not a surprise as no full-time staffer has been assigned to the investigation, and of the seven staffers (who each sort of work part time on it) none are lawyers. At this rate, I am reasonably sure Senator Richard Burr can maintain the charade for the next four years when he can once again count on the help of a foreign dictator to keep the GOP in power.

Bravo, Senator Burr. Bravo!


By Clayton Callahan


Liberals, It’s Time We Came Together…Right Now.

So, last month I gave some of my hard earned cash to a guy named Rob Quist.

Who the heck is Rob Quist you may ask? He’s the democratic candidate for congress in Montana’s special election which will be held on May 25th, 2017.

Now, do I live in Montana?

Nope, I’ve never even been to the Treasure State. So why did I give money to a man who won’t even be my actual representative if he wins? Because, people, now is the time for all of us liberals to band together and FIGHT! Conservatives have been doing this for years and kicking our butts good and hard in the process. Donated money flowing across state lines beefed up the GOP’s congressional dominance that we now suffer under.

We, liberals, however, have not been doing this. Instead, we were content to merely vote every FOUR years and kept our money mostly in our own pockets. We also felt safe in the knowledge that Barack Obama would prevent anything truly crazy from happening in Washington, and we thought it best not to meddle in our “red state” neighbor’s business.

And look where that got us!

Recently, Bernie Sanders has been going around the country with prominent Democratic leaders in an attempt to unify liberals against a common foe. And as he does this, his Democratic teammates get heckled with cries of, “Bernie would have won!” And you know, it’s possible he might have won. And it’s also obvious the DNC played dirty to support Hillary over him.

And you know what…as of this point in the story, none of that matters a tinker’s damn!

The past is over, and if I could magically call a “do-over” for the entire 2016 election, you’re darn right I’d wave my wand to do just that. But I obviously can’t change the past. And, fellow liberals, the future is rushing upon us. It’s a dark future that’s coming too; where our basic rights are to be stripped away along with the natural environment we live in.

Is Rob Quist my specific kind of liberal?

Beats the crap out of me. He’s a friggin country western singer turned political-wannabe for Christ’s sake. However, I do know he’s anti-Trump, and I do know that we need as many men and women of that ilk as we can find in government right now.

Liberals like to chant, “A people united will never be defeated.” Cool. Let us test that theory. Let us unite behind every and any like minded soul who’s out there opposing Trump so that we may push back this darkness and let in the light of a better future for all.

And let’s do it NOW!


By Clayton Callahan